Alright, it’s time for me to talk about it. The coronavirus has been scaring me shitless, so much so that I dedicated a lot of time to it in my last therapy sesh. For me, looking over the cliff into the abyss is what nightmares are made of. I’ve always thought that if society was to crumble, I would stay calm and rational. HAH! I still have not met every part of myself yet.
I will say that the last time M and I were in a grocery store, I handled it mostly gracefully. The panic in the air was palpable. It washed over every surface while people mean mugged others who got too close to them. When we picked up some water in the gallon-ish jugs, a woman stared straight at me and rather yelled, “Why do you need water?! It comes out of the faucet!” Friends, I try to practice kindness always, but I almost lost my entire shit on this woman. I wanted to scream, “It does now! What if society collapses or something happens where we cannot access drinking water from our homes?” Now, I did not want to add panic to an already extremely emotionally charged situation. So you know what I did? I fucking glared at her real hard. Problem solved?
After that, I became so hot, I began to sweat. I looked around me and no one else was experiencing a sudden cascade of sweat. That’s when I knew my body was trying to tell me something. That coupled with a strong desire to physically assault the people around me made me pause. I identified quickly that I needed a few seconds to calm down outside. I immediately took off my jacket and braved the rain outside to connect with my center again. I’m going to pat myself on the back for that one, cause COPING SKILLS! Amirite?
Anyways, this is one of the most helpful things I’ve seen since my panic level sharply rise. Take a look if you need grounding as much as I do right now. What a time to be alive.
Stay safe, healthy, and kind.