At the beginning of quarantine, my boss brought in a local artist to teach our team to doodle like pros. I’ve previously dabbled in doodling, but it felt like I wasn’t creative enough to come up with things to draw. I mostly drew cubes and grapes (…?) and trees that I learned how to draw in third grade. It felt pretty limiting.
I guess I just needed someone to confirm that I was already doodling — I didn’t trust myself. The thought “I’m not good at drawing” or “I’m not creative” played over and over again in my mind’s tape reel. Since I recognized that, I’ve realized that I do that to myself a lot. Whoa there, Patriarchy! I consider myself a feminist and have done a lot of work around that; however, this is sexism I didn’t know still existed in my framework through which I see the world.
All this to say, when I let myself doodle, I loved it. I’m not particularly good, but it’s very therapeutic. Something I can enjoy even though no one will sell my doodles and drawings after I’m dead. There’s still value in participating in activities that are not one’s strong suit. Of course, one risks looking like an ass. Which is another brand of “I do not want to look weak and unsuccessful”, at least for me anyway.
The point? So glad we arrived here. 🙂 When one unlocks their mind and demolishes all the self-imposed barriers, who knows what one can enjoy or even, develop a new skill? I’m sitting with cultivating joy for now.
What’s the last thing you did because it brought you delight instead of because you’re particularly skilled at it? Really, the question here is: What was the last thing you declined to do because you think you aren’t good at it?