Capacity

This is one of my favorite times to do blog posts. I love photographing my decorations, buying ingredients for recipes, and coming up with content that I’m excited about. However, this year, work has been particularly difficult emotionally. There’s been a lot of death, collective meanness, and anger in the past few weeks which has been hard on my spirit. I took a mental health day last week, but I’m feeling the need to take more time. I’m also feeling the need to be at work to get ahead of everything. I’m also supposed to have foot surgery to get the hardware taken out of my left foot. I’m not exactly looking forward to this. I’ve also been sorting through some hard memories in therapy.

In short, I am at capacity. I haven’t even opened my Halloween decorations tub, which is usually one of my favorite things to do this time of year. Everything feels heavy and loaded. Halloween is next weekend, and I bought a thrifted dress to build my costume around because Malcolm and some friends are going to celebrate via pub crawl and costume contest. It was a previously scheduled thrifting trip, otherwise, I probably wouldn’t have gone. But it brought me joy and reminded me how much I love this time of year. I included a photo that makes me happy in this post.

This is why I haven’t put much energy into blogging, writing notes to my friends, learning to play guitar, really anything creative. I’m learning I have to force myself to do things I enjoy even if I don’t feel like doing them at first. That’s when the real self-care begins. I am going to make a conscious effort to do my regimen of coping skills: walking, journaling, my stem kit, drawing, playing guitar, disconnecting from the abuse and unkindness.

What do you do when you’re feeling at capacity? I’d love more ideas!

Kindly,

Maegan

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