I started therapy two weeks before the pandemic changed everything. After that, we had virtual sessions only. Today, I will successfully bring my therapy to an end. My therapist and I talked about the last few sessions a lot in the past six weeks. It feels like someone ripping off my security blanket. I was so sad to talk about the end of therapy. And scared! Like, what if I have a meltdown and need someone to talk to?
However, as a way to process the end of therapy, I made a list of all the aha moments I experienced in therapy. It took me three weeks to be able to pinpoint anything (my therapist says that’s because what I’ve learned and my new skills have integrated in my psyche, so it’s challenging to pick out lessons). Last night, I finally came up with several aha moments. I had to stop myself from writing more because I had to go to sleep. But even then, my ideas kept coming. Now that I see it all laid out on pages in my journal, I am so damn proud of myself. I stuck with it for two years and “did the work” as my therapist says. I healed my childhood trauma which I never thought was really possible. I no longer hold on to the trauma I’ve carried for decades. And here I am, a couple hours before my last session. You know what? I feel ready. I feel confident that I have the skills and perspective to check my shit. (Malcolm is also WONDERFULLY gentle when he points out my bullshit and negative patterns, so that’s a plus 🙂 )
Friends, if you feel you are carrying your trauma, or if you feel like you’re scared to look deeper into your past and yourself, consider therapy. It has changed my entire life: my relationships, my depression/anxiety, my confidence, my self-worth, my boundaries, my unhealthy patterns, my consistency, etc. I could go on and on. In conclusion, I finally found the peace I searched for since I became an adult. It’s a process to get a therapist with playing phone tag and such, but it’s worth it. A lot of therapists also have sliding pay scales, so if payment is an issue, you can search “therapists with sliding pay scales”.
Take care of yourself,