This time last year…

This time last year, I was awaiting a surgery during which I was sure I was going to die. I tried everything I knew to attempt to separate my fear from my intuition, but they still slither inside me, intertwined. I was waiting to have my kidney removed, to have my bladder resected. I was …

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My Long History with Disassociation

I used to think dissociation was an odd type of mental health issue that paired with dissociative identity disorder, DID. After intense periods of reflection and therapy, I realize that I dissociated for nine months last year. And I do it naturally without even thinking about it. This is why I have a very high …

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The Movie That is Oddly Parallel to My Life This Year

Have you seen The Big Sick yet on Amazon Prime? Malcolm recently watched it and told me we HAD to watch it. I was skeptical because Malcolm recently made me watch a documentary called Dear Zachary which hit home so hard that I was beyond crying. I slipped into my trauma response mode and didn't …

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Diet Culture Post Chemo and Surgery

Disclaimer: This post discusses my experience with diets and food restrictions. If that's not your thing, please skip this entry. Before I was diagnosed with recurrent ovarian cancer, I explored Intuitive Eating (IE) for the first time. It was the thing that I had been waiting for all my life. That sounds dramatic, but it's …

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Mary Maegan Brundage, January 14, 19 something: The Final Chapter of this Cancer Story

And now, as promised, the exciting conclusion (still read that in a 90s movie trailer voice. I have been rewatching a lot of 90s movies...)! Moving Forward: I went to my gyn onc on Monday and he gave me the BEST news! I don't have to do any radiation, so I'm essentially done with active …

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Mary Maegan Brundage, January 14, 19 something: A Cancer Story

I've been writing these posts in my head for about three weeks now. What happened in surgery, how I'm recovering physically and emotionally, and my treatment plan moving forward has been a lot for me to digest and then put into coherent words. This may not be coherent, but this is my stream of consciousness …

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