Ruminating on Death

My poor therapist has listened to me carry on about death and about being scared of it for months now. Hyper-vigilance is a part of life after cancer. Is that pain my cancer coming back? Am I not hungry because my cancer is back? Is this the time it's going to kill me? Part of …

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My Long History with Disassociation

I used to think dissociation was an odd type of mental health issue that paired with dissociative identity disorder, DID. After intense periods of reflection and therapy, I realize that I dissociated for nine months last year. And I do it naturally without even thinking about it. This is why I have a very high …

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Diet Culture Post Chemo and Surgery

Disclaimer: This post discusses my experience with diets and food restrictions. If that's not your thing, please skip this entry. Before I was diagnosed with recurrent ovarian cancer, I explored Intuitive Eating (IE) for the first time. It was the thing that I had been waiting for all my life. That sounds dramatic, but it's …

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Mary Maegan Brundage, January 14, 19 something: A Cancer Story

I've been writing these posts in my head for about three weeks now. What happened in surgery, how I'm recovering physically and emotionally, and my treatment plan moving forward has been a lot for me to digest and then put into coherent words. This may not be coherent, but this is my stream of consciousness …

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A Humble Open Letter to My Community and My GoFundMe Campaign

Over the past several months, I have written a lot about my very personal experience with cancer hoping in part to help bring awareness and hoping on a personal level to distract me. One thing that I have not shared a lot about is my work situation, FMLA, short term disability, etc. This one is …

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