Hi friends. I haven't written about my medical status on here in a long while, mostly because I've been feeling great. However, about a month ago, I started having some pains in my abdomen that felt like ovarian cancer pain. Though I see my gynologic oncologist every three months, I gave them a call. I …
Today is the first day I've written outside since last summer, early fall. As my finger tips click-clack keys, a gentle wind brushes my hair out of my face. The melodious wind chime I put up a few years ago bats about in the breeze, sending joyful notes into the bright blue expanse. Birds chitter …
Growing up, I was uncomfortable with hugging. It felt too personal and vulnerable. And I felt very pressured into awkward embraces with adults. As a young adult, that feeling carried over into my relationships with friends, coworkers, and family. Physical touch was jarring and weird which widened the gap between myself and everyone else. I …
Continue reading I Used to NOT Be a Hugger: Why That’s Changed
This time last year, I was awaiting a surgery during which I was sure I was going to die. I tried everything I knew to attempt to separate my fear from my intuition, but they still slither inside me, intertwined. I was waiting to have my kidney removed, to have my bladder resected. I was …
Every now and then, when I read something I've written to Malcolm, his eye brows rise up and up until they threaten his hairline. He tightens his lips like he's literally holding something in that he doesn't want to say. I imagine he's thinking, "Wow, I can't believe she would post that on the internet," …
I used to think dissociation was an odd type of mental health issue that paired with dissociative identity disorder, DID. After intense periods of reflection and therapy, I realize that I dissociated for nine months last year. And I do it naturally without even thinking about it. This is why I have a very high …
Tonight I heard the distant roll of thunder for the first time in months. Maybe in a year. Last year, I wasn’t in a space to appreciate small miracles like the thunder and rain. But tonight, as I lay in bed with my wonderful partner, we heard the rumble (over an episode of Boy Meets …
Since covid-19 infiltrated our ivory towers, I have been silent. It’s partly because social distancing is starting to get to me and partly because I am struggling to find daily delights. Some days I find many delights, but most days find me anxiously awaiting worse and worse news. The roller coaster of corona being treated …
I’ve got two for you today. I bought a car last week for the first time ever on my own! We’ve had about 8 total inches of snow this week which meant two two-hour delays. I feel so independent now that I can actually get places in snow. No more canceling plans or calling into …
When I first noticed the 90s creeping back into our mainstream culture, I resisted it hard. I remember walking through Target seeing crop tops, jean skirts, scrunchies, and those plastic black chokers and I immediately became uncomfortable. I didn't understand until I got home that I was NOT mentally or emotionally prepared to be reminded …
Continue reading How Recent 90s Fashion Brought up Old Scars that Needed More Nurture
