One of the most insidious things about imposter syndrome is that it confuses itself with intuition and knowing. Am I right that I should just stop writing my book, like my imposter syndrome has been telling me for years, because no one will want to read it? Or is it the malevolence of the syndrome? I feel like the plot is off and an amalgamation of all the sci-fi books/shows/podcasts/essays that I’ve ever consumed. But not in a good way. It’s difficult to find my style and voice in writing narratives. I’ve pretty much got that down on my blog, but it’s a much different type of writing and creating.
A few posts back, I said I’m adding posts about my book or to help me unlock my creative animal by doing creative writing exercises. Each one of the posts I’ve written, I’ve trashed half way through because I think they’re more for me than they are to share. So, you’re welcome for that 🙂
I’ve been working on knowing what sits well with my soul quicker. In the past, it has often taken me two or three days to really decide what feels right to me. Sometimes situations about which I have to make decisions can sit that long without expiration, sometimes not. To alleviate stress, I’ve often gone with what someone else wants even though I have a little glimmer that given five days to sit with would flood my body and mind, and I’d know. That has never worked well. On this, my instincts tell me to keep going. Imposter syndrome says don’t because it’s not worth it. But even to just write an entire book though I may keep it to myself, is an enrichment of my life. A creative challenge I haven’t faced in years.